attains: attains: if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS my mom made me go to a therapist because of this
haha if youre bored you could kiss me idk just sayin
I suck at texting unless I am in a relationship with you You are my mom I need something Me and you are close as fuck
lliampayne: do you ever sit with your friends and realize you’re the beyonce always
queeflto: follow me back or im calling the police
my mom's logic: if i don't remember it, it didn't happen
mermaidsandmisandry: dont ask me about my favorite characters because i will literally tell you their entire storyline and cry
h0odrich: It’s not called cheating its called I need to pass this fuckin class
extreme makeover: home edition
girl: i kinda like horses
ty: WE MADE YOUR ROOM INTO A HORSE AND DECORATED IT WITH HORSES AND HERE WE GOT YOU 3 PET HORSES AND WE ARE PAYING FOR SURGERY TO MAKE YOU A HORSE
I can't remember what I did on the internet before...
People: You're going to go deaf because you play your music so loud.
Me: At least I won't have to listen to your bullshit.